Whatever happened to you, that wound, you can't make it go away.
It wasn't "supposed" to happen so that it could teach you a lesson; it happened because that's how reality played out, and you may have learned from it.
I'm finding that people try to do their projects perfectly, be everything to everyone, and check off all the boxes, as a subconscious method of disproving their past.
In the recesses of their minds, they think: If I just get, do, or have x, y, or z, then I'll be happy, feel worthy, and prove to the world that the person who hurt me was wrong.
And every time they do achieve their goal, it's an utter disappointment and necessary humiliation because they still don't know who they are apart from their experiences of rejection.
The magic is in fully accepting your past, without identifying with it, and surrendering the need to blame others for your shortcomings, and there you'll find freedom.
"You either stand inside your story and own it, or you stand outside of it, hustling for your worthiness." Brene Brown