Updated: Feb 14, 2019
The past couple weeks, a number of my clients have talked about wanting to buy new clothes but not until they lost weight.
Of course I understand WHY but I disagree with it.
They believed if they bought new clothes at their current size, it would mean...
1. They would be settling at their current weight
2. Their intentions would be called into question and would be judged accordingly
3. They would have decreased motivation
Before I respond, it'd be helpful if you understood the Change Management process we employ at Condition for Life: Awareness --> Accountability --> Action --> Management.
When it comes to reaching any goal, Action is considered the gold standard as to whether or not someone is serious about change. However, Action is not the most important step in making change, Awareness is. You simply can't change something you're unaware of!
Over the past 19 years, I've seen most people jump from Awareness to Action without taking Accountability for their current state, only to fall back into familiar patterns of protective behavior and wondering "why they just can't seem to change." Hmmmm?!
Truth be told, people don't want to practice Accountability because the emotional labor required to do so is very uncomfortable and unfamiliar to most. So they rush to physical, tactical Action to avoid processing the anger, shame, sadness and frustration that lurks just beneath the surface.
As for buying clothes at your current size, it's a matter accountability. You must understand there is a fundamental difference between fully accepting where you are today, which requires tremendous amounts of courage vs. settling, which requires none.
If you can't accept who you are today, you won't be able to accept a lighter version of yourself either because how we do anything is how we do everything.
What's needed is Bill Wilson's 4th Step of AA: Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. A moral inventory is an assessment of one's life up to this point, a taking stock of the goods in one's life and noting those characteristics that are troublesome; including seeing your role in the problems you're face, whether it be relational, financial, health or otherwise.
Minus this Step, just realize there is a difference between reaching your goal and transformation of your soul.
"No amount of self-improvement can make up for any lack of self-acceptance." Robert Holden
* The Change Management video shared is part of Condition for Life's MindBodySpirit Coaching Program that helps people get from where they are to where they want to be.