Self-care is an act of love that expresses your YESness.
YESness = goodness, okayness, enoughness, worthiness, etc.
However, if you feel like a NO, then self-care will feel like an obligation because it conflicts with the stories you tell yourself about yourself.
When you know that you're a YES, then the effort associated with self-care is perceived as an opportunity to express it.
"I'm no longer sure what the question is, but I do know the answer is YES." Leonard Bernstein