I didn't care that she ate the candy bar, I was only curious as to why, and more importantly, I wanted to make sure she knew why she ate it.
My client is weight conscious and has made several strides towards healing her MindBodySpirit, and we leverage her setbacks as opportunities for learning, growth, and evolution.
I never use her protective behaviors to hold her accountable, make her feel guilty or shameful, or to make myself the center of her journey.
With her boss away on vacation, her work responsibilities nearly doubled, causing her to enter the day near her threshold, full of worry and anxiety.
It's so important to acknowledge someone's starting point because contextual relevance naturally lends itself to compassion.
She was getting bombarded with one question after another and to make matters worse; no one was following her advice, and the pressure continued rising until she found herself at the vending machine.
I asked her how people not listening to her made her feel and where she was feeling it, to which she replied inferior and insignificant, and she felt it in her chest (which is the Love portal).
I then provided her space to process the experience, thinking and feeling whatever she needed, for as long as she needed.
Once she came back to a space of neutrality, I asked her which previous experiences this reminded her of, and a couple came to mind from her formative years.
I allowed her to connect the painful experiences of her past to her current events and finally, helping her untangle those experiences from her identity.
Last, we practiced how she can handle situations like that in the future, and identified the constructive alternatives to fearful behavior.
Behavior change initiatives rarely (if ever) work because they lack the substance necessary to account for the deeply embedded emotional attachments from one's past.
Once a lack of adherence is chalked up to a lack of discipline, motivation, or readiness, everyone loses.
Regardless of what had happened or will happen, we transformed her pain into feelings of significance and enoughness, and for that, we're proud, grateful, and successful.
"Do not fear to lose what needs to be lost." Sue Monk Kidd