...a reflection of WHO you think you are.
The typical change model looks at where you are, where you want to be, and what keeps you from getting there.
However, this perspective is outdated, and unintentionally drives conversations that distract people from realizing their preferred reality.
It's essential to understand both sides of transformation: Identity and Reality. Reality is WHAT's going on in your life, and Identity is WHO you think you are.
To progress the conversation and position you to outgrow your challenges, let's refresh the terminology:
Where you are (Reality) = WHO you think you are (Identity)
Where you want to be (Reality) = WHO you want to be (Identity)
What gets in the way (Reality) = Manifestations of your attachments to the painful experiences of your past (Identity)
This reframe shifts the focus from psychology (WHY you do WHAT you do) to cosmology (WHO is doing it).
The bottom line is someone who has a negative Identity is unable to enjoyably and sustainably create a positive Reality. Unless a positive self-image is restored (knowing who they are apart from the painful experiences of their past), they may change, but they won't transform.
"Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom." Aristotle