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What critical people hate more than anything...



...is being criticized.


It's worth understanding why.


The ego is quick to say: "So you can give it, but you can't take it." This doesn't solve any problems or prove any points, it only creates more of the same: separateness.


The first thing is, critical people treat you the way they treat themselves, so don't feel "special" when you're on the receiving end of a cutting statement.


The second thing is, criticism is learned behavior, so they've been collecting critical comments long before they've started sharing them with you.


The third thing is, criticism is a child of rejection, and when you've been rejected enough, the survival brain is inclined to transfer its pain to temporarily lessen its own (think emotional eating, drinking, smoking, etc.--it's all protective behavior).


The fourth thing is, critical behavior is a cry for help but when you can't get past your own insecurities, you don't know how to answer or respond to the call.


The fifth thing is, we're all doing the best we can with what we've got, and while someone may not be doing your best, it doesn't mean they're not doing their own.


The purpose of my points is to create awareness and understanding, which leads to kindness and compassion, which results in healing and transformation. I'm not advocating we tolerate critical behavior; healthy boundaries must be established, uplifted, and honored. At the same time, I am suggesting we have a role in helping people transform their pain, which requires we learn how to convert our own.


Patient, empathetic and loving responses in generous doses are the best healing agents for people who are in pain.



"Show me all the parts of you that you do not love, so I know where to begin." Ava

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