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We shouldn't be talking about mindfulness...



...we should be talking about absence.


Telling an absent person who's going through the motions, checking off the boxes and operating from the passenger's seat to start paying attention isn't a great method of effecting change.


It's not that mindfulness isn't a good message because it is, but the right message delivered at the wrong time or spoken in the wrong way will fall on deaf ears.


For starters, if I'm absent-minded and being told to be more mindful, that could sound like I'm doing yet another thing wrong and if I already struggle with rejection/acceptance, I'll shut that message down as quickly as I've heard it.


Human beings are far more receptive to change when spoken to from the inside. I would respond better if someone would first relate to me, connect with me, identify with some of my pain points, remind me of the challenges I face every day, THEN help me understand there's another option, that life doesn't have to be this way, reveal the GAP and then bridge it with mindfulness as a solution.


The strategy of leaning further into the problem before presenting the solution is counterintuitive, but it's how we respond best to change. The challenge is we get wrapped up in the end goal but fail to come back to meet the person where they're at. I think if we did this, we'd see a dramatic shift in the mindfulness revolution.



"Absence and death are the same--only that in death, there is no suffering." Theodore Roosevelt

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