...observing the NO's and exerting the YES's.
Observe the NO's: A simplistic way of saying: "How am I getting in my own way?" Endlessly reprocessing the past, continuously worrying about the future, projecting worst case scenarios, playing the blame game, looking for happiness outside of yourself, tying your worth to your work/any role, holding onto grudges, avoiding self-care, not giving others the benefit of the doubt, feeling high and mighty, etc.
The key is to not hate yourself for the NO's—you're doing the best you can with what you've got, really! Allow yourself to see NO as an opportunity to re-choose YES. This simple reframe will help you see that life is always happening for you. Not to mention, each time you rise from a fall, well, all sorts of good things happen in your brain.
Exert the YES's: A simplistic way of saying: "How am I showing up for myself?" Making and keeping promises, falling down and getting back up, intentionally moving outside of your comfort zone, managing an awkward conversation, extending forgiveness and saying I'm sorry, choosing to look at a situation differently, meeting reality where it's at, surrendering your need for control, replacing expectations with acceptance, prioritizing self-care, being consistent, being on time, spreading the love, etc.
When you do these things, celebrate your courageous efforts and not the outcome. Success is measured by the fact you showed up and gave it your best, not how well it was received. When this happens, thinking loving thoughts about yourself for 15 seconds and you'll effectively rewire your brain's devious, limiting patterns.
"If you observe well, your own heart will answer." R A Schwaller de Lubicz