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The reason behavior change doesn't​ work is...



... there's too much focus on behavior.


Sounds crazy and it's true!


What drives your behavior?


Your beliefs!


What forms your beliefs?


Your experiences!


Your experiences have formed the beliefs that drive your behaviors and have led to your symptoms.


Behaviors are more compensation than causation!


Furthermore, your experiences shape your identity, and all behaviors flow from your personality.


Rather than hustle to change your behaviors, strategically work to untangle your experiences from your identity.


The best way to do that is by way of contemplative practices: intimate eye contact with another human being, disconnecting from activities where most of your time is spent, exploring deep levels of rest, connecting to nature, journaling, meditation, etc.


What you do will always flow from who you are!


While well intentioned, behavior change is largely a waste of time, though not entirely; because failure is a wonderful teacher.


"Time is the enemy of identity." Michael Moorcock


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