Someone did you wrong!
They took a shot at you, lied, spread rumors, questioned your character, and left you when you needed them most.
That’s a big, juicy story waiting to be told.
Whatcha gonna do with that juiciness?
One thing’s for sure, if you don’t know how to transform the pain of betrayal, anger, shame, resentment or abandonment, you will transmit it to everyone and everything around you.
While transmitting your pain can take many forms of self-medication and numbing activities, one commonly accepted way of discharging painful feelings is to gossip and retell your perception of your experience, over and again.
Gossiping, of course, is an effort to release tension, gain sympathy, feel accepted and reclaim worthiness but it also intensifies painful emotions, creates division, corrodes the soul and attempts to gather troops just in case one must go to “war.”
Imagine telling the same story to 5 people and just how much of your finite energy and resources that protective behavior consumes.
Now consider how that energy could be redistributed towards constructive activities that support your goals, honor your values, and convey your resilience.
You have an opportunity to transform the pain you’re feeling by managing a direct conversation, which chain reactively enhances your esteem, while gossiping reduces it.
Yes it’s difficult, yes it’s uncomfortable, and yes it’s worth it.
“In any given moment, we have two options: to step forward into growth or back into safety.” Abraham Maslow