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Rediscover who you are apart from the painful experiences of your past


©2020 Condition for Life


The part of you that can see goodness in me

The majority of my clients, like the majority of the world, struggle with worthiness issues.

As their coach, it’s both a privilege and opportunity to help them discover, reveal, and express their inherent worth.

This can be quite a challenge when their goodness was never mirrored as a child, or they were only praised for performance, obedience, and meeting expectations.

My initial conversation is centered on self-acceptance, which is difficult if they weren’t entirely accepted “as-is” during their formative years.

Frankly, this is a foreign concept to most; they don’t know how to love themselves until they “start living their best life” or reach some arbitrary goal.

So I’ll ask: What’s good about you? And I’ll typically receive an answer related to some performance metric, which isn’t who they are as much as what they have done/can do.

Then, I’ll ask: Who are you outside of your role as an entrepreneur, a mother, the life of the party, an intellect, a fit person, etc.

I want to know if they can fundamentally see their goodness, and they usually grapple in doing so.

I continue by asking: Can you see anything good about me? Very quickly, they’ll ramble off what makes me whole.

I’ll finally ask: Which part of you do you think can see the goodness in me?

To which I’ll cleverly reply: The goodness in you!

Like knows like.

All cognition is recognition. It’s knowing on a more conscious level what appears to have been known in the unconscious.

Over time, as I continue engaging them from a space of dignity, respect, and admiration, they come to know what I’ve been seeing in them all along, for themselves.

Once they encounter their goodness experientially, the question shifts to: How can I express the peace, love, and joy within me?

“The roots of all goodness lie in the soil of appreciation for goodness.” Dalai Lama