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The part of you that can see goodness in me



The majority of my clients, like the majority of the world, struggle with worthiness issues.


As their coach, it’s both a privilege and opportunity to help them discover, reveal, and express their inherent worth.


This can be quite a challenge when their goodness was never mirrored as a child, or they were only praised for performance, obedience, and meeting expectations.


My initial conversation is centered on self-acceptance, which is difficult if they weren’t entirely accepted “as-is” during their formative years.


Frankly, this is a foreign concept to most; they don’t know how to love themselves until they “start living their best life” or reach some arbitrary goal.


So I’ll ask: What’s good about you? And I’ll typically receive an answer related to some performance metric, which isn’t who they are as much as what they have done/can do.


Then, I’ll ask: Who are you outside of your role as an entrepreneur, a mother, the life of the party, an intellect, a fit person, etc.


I want to know if they can fundamentally see their goodness, and they usually grapple in doing so.


I continue by asking: Can you see anything good about me? Very quickly, they’ll ramble off what makes me whole.


I’ll finally ask: Which part of you do you think can see the goodness in me?


To which I’ll cleverly reply: The goodness in you!


Like knows like.


All cognition is recognition. It’s knowing on a more conscious level what appears to have been known in the unconscious.


Over time, as I continue engaging them from a space of dignity, respect, and admiration, they come to know what I’ve been seeing in them all along, for themselves.


Once they encounter their goodness experientially, the question shifts to: How can I express the peace, love, and joy within me?



“The roots of all goodness lie in the soil of appreciation for goodness.” Dalai Lama


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