The Whole Person Blog: Week Four, Day Six, Part 1/2 - The Chicken or the Egg
Video presentation based on the book here
Friday, January 24th, 2020
Step 6: We were entirely ready to have God remove all of these defects of character.
"Step 6 struggles with–and resolves–the old paradox of the chicken and the egg. It first recognizes that we have to see our many resistances, excuses, and blockages, but then we have to fully acknowledge that God alone can do the "removing." But which should come first, grace or responsibility? The answer is that both come first. All we can do is get out of the way, and then the soul takes its natural course."
A paradox is a seemingly absurd or self-contradictory statement or proposition that when investigated or explained, may prove to be well-founded or true. The paradox most people struggle with is what I call the "Once I, then I" illusion. Once I lose weight, earn six figures, pass this exam, fix this problem, then I'll be content, happy, free, and satisfied. No, no, no–it's a trap! If you don't know how to be happy right now, when things are imbalanced, imperfect, and out of your control, then you won't know how to be happy then either. How you do anything is how you do everything!
The truth is, no level of self-improvement will ever make up for a lack of self-acceptance. But how do I accept myself before I am who I want to be? Well, therein lies the paradox! We don't accept ourselves once we get "there," we accept ourselves so that we can get there. The hesitation comes from the confusion between acceptance and settling, though, they are as far as the east is from the west. Settling is a matter of disinterest, passivity, and defeat, and acceptance is predicated upon integrity, empathy, and willingness. Acceptance says I'm doing the best I can with what I've got, while also saying, I can better my best going forward.
I just recorded a new video explaining how The Whole Person Project works. It'll be 30 days of healing, transformation, and community, and solve the primary problem of an identity crisis, which confuses WHAT happened to you for WHO you are.
"The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change." Carl Rogers