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Sweet Surrender



The Whole Person Blog: Week Four, Day Three, Part 1/2 - Sweet Surrender

Writings inspired by Fr. Richard Rohr: Breathing Under Water: Spirituality and the Twelve Steps

Video presentation based on the book here

Tuesday, January 21st, 2020


Step 3: "Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understand God."


By this Step, we can very clearly see the pattern of radical transformation as one that starts and continues with a spirit of surrender. This realization utterly reveals how deeply our challenges are rooted in control, which manifests in an endless number of ways, from high expectations to criticism, defensiveness, scapegoating, people-pleasing, perfectionism, procrastination, victimhood, over-reactivity, and the list goes on.


"Surrender will always feel like dying, and yet it is the necessary path to liberation. How long it takes each of us to just accept–to accept what is, to accept ourselves, others, the past, our own mistakes, and the imperfection and idiosyncrasies of almost everything. It reveals our basic resistance to life. You see, surrender is not "giving up," as we tend to think, nearly as much as it is a "giving to," the moment, the event, the person, and the situation. What you resist, persists."


Unfortunately, the root of control is often misunderstood. If someone was never validated growing up, made to feel worthwhile, appreciated, and significant in their own essence, their lack of safety will always be counterbalanced by a need for control. Think of it as a see-saw:


Low emotional safety = High need for control

High emotional safety = Low need for control


This all happens at an entirely subconscious level. Fortunately, it's all outgrown by knowing who you are apart from the environment you were raised in, the painful experiences you've encountered, and any poor decisions you may have made. Join me Wednesday, February 12th, to learn how to safely surrender to your True Self, the part of you that's never been hurt, always operates as a clean slate and breath of fresh air, and has nothing to lose and nothing to prove.


"It is when I am weak that I am strong." 2nd Corinthians 12:10

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