Unfortunately, the vast majority of us are not very good at reaching our goals.
There are many reasons for this, and while there are no simple solutions, I’d like to share one approach that has served me VERY well.
When we strive to achieve our objectives, our mind immediately goes towards what more wehave to do to “get” where we want to be.
And for many, the effort required to become “successful,” is often interpreted as: I’m not good enough (the way I am).
This perspective causes one to initiate their pursuit from a space of inferiority, effectively framing effort as a pure obligation, and sucking all of the joy out of healthy self-expression.
Now, pair this emotional truth with the physics of having to overcome the inertia of adopting new behaviors, and the journey is likely to end as quickly as it began.
Instead of exerting effort to create your desired reaction, consider surrendering as an efficient path for realizing the same goal.
This is a little more of a strategic approach than it is tactical, which requires some adjustment as it’s an entirely different way of processing reality.
You begin by recognizing that you’re emotionally committed to your current state (weight gain, anxiety, procrastination, etc.), and before changing your behavior, engage an observer’s mentality to understand why you’re doing what you’re doing.
As you notice the thought process facilitating your actions, you can start questioning your assumptions, worldviews, emotional reactions, origin story, and the chain reaction of events that have created your current state.
From there, with high levels of intention, rather than initiate a new behavior, step away from the behavior you typically engage that maintains your undesired symptoms.
At other times, you will perform a new behavior, but it still emanates from a mentality of surrendering your previous ways of being.
One decision at a time, you’ll achieve addition by subtraction, attain more by doing less, and surrendering your false self so you can finally and fully reveal your True Self.
I understand this is a big concept, and certainly not mainstream, but it’s incredibly rewarding and refreshing, so if you have any questions, please let me know.
“Surrender is like a fish finding the current and going with it.” Mark Nepo