For someone struggling with anxiety, it's not helpful to tell them to stop worrying.
For someone struggling with self-image, it's not helpful to tell them how beautiful they are.
For someone struggling with workaholism, it's not helpful to tell them they need to find a work/life balance.
Not being helpful doesn't mean those statements aren't filled with the best intentions.
Simple, rational advice lacks the substance necessary to solve complex, emotional problems.
Buried beneath anxiety, self-image and workaholism are painful feelings, deep-seated beliefs and ill-defining experiences that cannot be healed by words alone.
Feelings like depression, anger and shame, beliefs like "I'm not enough," "the world is not safe" and "my worth comes from my work" and experiences like growing up in an unloving household, being raised by critical parents and being rewarded for conformity all contribute to the problems faced by many...and they don't know how to connect these dots :-(
It's necessary to access the subconscious mind where all of these experiences have been stored and are driving 95% of daily thought, feeling and behavior...95%!!!
The genuine concern of a curious, compassionate and empathetic human being and focused inner work are parts of the solution.
Creating a safe space for people to feel their feelings and process their emotions is vital for healing, otherwise, their "insecurity" remains the go-to for numbing their painful reality.
Last, it's important to understand two things: 1. Your Individuality is paramount and is to be respected throughout your entire journey and 2. Healing is not an event that occurs on a given day but a process that unfolds over time with repeated acts of generosity.
"Curiosity is one of the permanent and certain characteristics of a vigorous intellect." Samuel Johnson
* The video links shared in this post are part of Condition for Life's Coaching Program and 12-Step Process for helping their clients get where they want to be by healing from the inside-out.