As a MindBodySpirit Coach, I tell my clients I have two and only two responsibilities:
1. To understand them
2. To create awareness
All the rest is up to them...from accountability to action to agency!
Once I understand the context of a situation, the emotional drivers at play, the stories people are telling themselves, how success is being measured, etc. I feel pretty comfortable making an assertion based on what I believe may be the root cause of their problem.
As an example, I may say something like: "I think the reason you may be struggling with anxiety is because you have a need for control."
The first time I say that to someone, it's usually accompanied by some form of defensiveness, whether through body language, scapegoating or deflecting.
They may have never connected their need for control to anxiety or may believe they're completely unrelated or may realize I'm spot on.
Whatever the case, my goal as stated, was simply to first understand them, then create awareness.
As that statement sinks in, whether "true" or not, I've created an awareness that cannot be unseen moving forward.
As time goes on, they're bound to come around the mountain again and encounter the same problem as before, just with new characters and a different storyline.
Naturally, I'll make the same assertion: "I think the reason you may be struggling with anxiety is because you have a need for control."
Sure I said the same thing but it's rarely interpreted the same way because they've increased their levels of consciousness, understand I'm coming from a place of generosity and have become more sensitive to their patterns, triggers and tendencies.
All things considered, more often than not, their defensiveness is replaced by openness.
Basing whether or not you say the same thing to someone based on how they received it the first time completely misunderstands change as a dynamic and evolving process.
"What is necessary to change a person is to change awareness of them self." Abraham Maslow