I should have worked out this morning.
I should have stood up for myself when my boss called me out.
I should have trusted my intuition and did what I felt was right.
I should have tried understanding her before being understood.
I should have stopped eating when I started feeling full.
Should is not generous, is not helpful, and is full of painful emotions.
Maybe you should or should not have done any of those things, but you could have.
The only relevant and worthwhile question to ask now is: WHY? Why didn't I workout, honor boundaries, trust myself, actively listen, or practice self-control?
Replace your disappointment with curiosity and seek to understand WHY you did WHAT you did. Minus generous inquiry, no learning will take place, and invariably, you will continue behaving protectively.
As you start replacing should with could, you will notice a shift from criticism to compassion, from expectation to understanding, and from resentment to opportunity...all of which facilitate an environment for healing and transformation of The Whole Person: MindBodySpirit.
If you would like to learn how to improve your self-relationship so that you can love yourself wholly, check out our free trial for The Whole Person Project.
"Those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it." George Santayana