While working with a MindBodySpirit® coaching client, I helped her become aware of the stories she was telling herself about her struggles.
- "Every time I prioritize self-care, I feel guilty."
- "I need to re-establish boundaries."
- "I would be more active if it was fun."
Before trying to change her narratives, we explored how they were serving her in the first place. In short, they...
1. Gave her an out, minimizing risk, and the potential for failure
2. Maintained peace, helping her avoid confrontation
3. Improved her chances of being included and not talked about
So the stories were 100% functional, though they stemmed from a place of fear, scarcity, and exclusion.
The driver matters--fear invariably leads to more fear!
She came to realize that her stories, above all else, removed self-accountability, and along with it, empowerment, potential, and possibility.
She closed by saying: "I'm going to learn how to tell better stories."
She may look the same tomorrow, but change on the inside always precedes transformation on the outside.
"There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you." Maya Angelou