Protective behavior is not self-sabotage

Most people claim to be their own biggest critics and worst enemies.

Given this self-relationship, it makes sense this person would also claim to engage in self-sabotaging behaviors--which I believe is rarely true.

In short, self-sabotage suggests intentionality and it's my understanding that more often than not, people rarely intend to sabotage their progress.

What they very often do is use food, alcohol, TV and all sorts of numbing agents to protect them from painful feelings--which is wildly different than intentional self-sabotage.

What's often missing and leads to improper labeling of behavior is context and relevance.

When someone feels uncertain, at risk and emotionally exposed, protective behavior, though it may not align with one's values, makes perfect sense.

Once the difference is realized, criticism can be replaced with compassion.

"Until you have real compassion, you cannot recognize love." Bob Thurman



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