When you don't like who you are, it's common for some people to want to please everyone around them, subconsciously thinking if "they" like me, then I'll like myself.
Nope, doesn't work that way, for lots of reasons:
1. Nothing outside of you can fulfill you
2. People-pleasing is manipulative behavior, rooted in fear
3. This behavior leads to codependency and predictable relational issues
4. This is a false agenda, where success is measured by control
5. It asks people to like you based on what you do for them rather than who you are
Of course, I can speak to this with certitude because it was how I lived most of my life, and I can share that with you because my previous, separate self no longer defines me.
With the rediscovery of my True Self, who I am apart from the painful experiences of my past, my desire to please others has faded; it's been replaced by an allowing of my intrinsic goodness to delight others.
While this may sound similar, experientially, it's as far as east is from west. There's no neediness tied to it, I don't need it to feel good about myself, and I don't feel responsible for others' happiness.
I'm delighted by myself, which makes delighting others easy, natural, and enjoyable because it's reflecting back to me WHO I think I am.
If you are trapped inside of pleasing ways, don't stop, just observe, and ask yourself who you are apart from your ability to make others happy. If you're not sure or don't like who that is, continuing that behavior only serves to reinforce your insecurities.
This is a common challenge outgrown by our members in The Whole Person Project. Our next free trial is August 16th, and we'd love to delight you: www.conditionforlife.com/public-events
"I've got nothing to prove and nothing to lose." Michael Rizk