Painful emotions are just that, painful and uncomfortable.
And of course they don't really "want" anything because "they" don't even know they exist.
They're merely informants of how you're interpreting reality.
Because we're culturally deconditioned to processing painful emotions, we try using food, alcohol, TV, spending, porn, gossip, cleaning, internet, etc. to make the pain go away.
But what you resist, persists!
At this point, you're no longer in control of your emotions, they, because you don't know how to face them and are scared of what they may say about you, are controlling you.
I always tell my clients, there's no way around the GAP between where you are and want to be...you've got to functionally feel your pain so you can move beyond it.
The solution is layered but part of it is feeling your emotions and processing them in an undefended way.
That anger you're feeling...where are you feeling it in your body? Your stomach, your chest, your throat? Focus there! Breathe into it as you emotionally balance that region while surrendering the experiences that caused it.
Yeah, that's the hard part, the surrender part is difficult but only for the ego, who's obsessed with and addicted to control.
Once you release it, you're positioned to experience any emotion in abundance that you'd like to experience: peace, love, joy, significance, gratitude, serenity, happiness, contentment, fulfillment, etc. Breathe your new emotion into the same area until you feel filled with it.
You may be wondering how to embody an elevated emotion when the situation that caused you to feel a certain hans't really changed.
Well, keep in mind: 1. Surrender is about letting go, 2. Lowering your expectations to create reality is an act of maturity and liberation, 3. Only you can determine how much you're going to allow things outside of your control to make you feel poorly and 4. You may want to find something to really simple and stable to be happy about: like your breath and 5. Take a big step back, really big and notice which part of you is really upset because it's not your true nature.
"All great spirituality is a matter of what we do with our pain. If you do not transform it, you will most assuredly transmit it." Richard Rohr