How to settle unsettled areas of your life

There are areas of your life that no matter what you do, you can't seem to manage, organize, or get settled.

Baffled, you begin to label your situation, status, and behavior to make sense of the disarray.

You may refer to yourself as lazy, disinterested, or overwhelmed, and may even go as far as blaming others for the chaos.

Exerting more effort into these types of endeavors pay little dividends because you've confused cause and effect.

The effect is the unsettled space around you, while the cause is the unsettled nature within you.

You keep trying to fix your outer world, but your inner world remains unchanged, which is why your attempts are futile and fleeting.

The solution, in this case, is not a change in behavior (getting your act together, getting back on track, etc.) as much as it is a change in conscious awareness.

Before taking any more action, shift your...

- Outwardly-focused gaze inward

- Critical statements to compassionate questions

- Focus on WHAT is happening to WHY it's happening

Here's a model I've developed that helps me think through situations like this: Symptom --> State --> Story --> Self.

Symptom: What's happened/ing?

State: Which emotions surround what's happened/ing?

Story: What are the stories I'm telling myself about what's happened/ing?

Self: Am I in alignment with my false self or True Self?

Asking yourself these questions is, in and of themselves, an act of generosity; and this level of insight and understanding offers fresh perspectives on solving stale problems.

Over and again, you'll discover your false self as the chronic thorn in your side, and when you do, don't expend effort, practice surrender.

"The seat of the soul is where the inner world and the outer world meet." Joseph Campbell



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