When we behave in protective ways, our default response is to think: “I have to stop doing that.”
In a subtle way, that’s a form of self-rejection.
The key is not to reject the behavior, but to accept it as a reflection of where you are in this very moment (don’t confuse acceptance with settling).
If you don’t own the behavior, and create space for the inherent imperfection of your humanity, you can’t disown the behavior, and move beyond it.
Once you’re fully accountable to yourself, then get curious as to why you’re doing what you’re doing—this replaces criticism with compassion, which in turn, cultivates an environment conducive to healing, learning, and growth.
Why you do what you do is far more important than what you do.
“No amount of self-improvement will ever make up for a lack of self-acceptance."