Where you are today is what I call your Current Status®.
Where you want to be tomorrow is called your Preferred Status®.
It's worth mentioning the space in between is called your GAP.
One of the first questions I ask new clients is: How do you want to feel when you get where you want to be?
You can probably imagine the majority of responses: content, significant, satisfied, happy, and excited, to name a few.
Then I'll ask: How do you feel relative to where you are today?
In contrast, I hear the "opposite" emotional states: frustrated, disappointed, anxious, depressed, exhausted, and the list goes on.
Last, I'll ask: What's the resistance that keeps you from getting where you want to be?
I'll hear everything from lazy, busy, painful experiences, limiting beliefs, lack of discipline, etc.
Here's what I've learned...
1. Telling yourself that you'll feel good after you reach your goals is just a story you're telling yourself; more importantly, a narrative you've conditioned yourself to believe!
2. The truth is, there is no "there"--here is there. If you don't know how to access the feelings associated with your Preferred Status right now, on "this" side of your goal, you won't know how to feel them later.
3. How you're feeling today has little to do with your Current Status, you've likely been feeling that way a long time, and your present situation is a reflection of it.
4. The resistance within your GAP are the manifestations of your attachments to past experiences of pain and rejection, and the goal is to learn how to detach from them.
5. The two most significant drivers of challenges are our memories and imagination--learning how to settle into the present moment, the here and now, ultimately, sovles your "problems."
A few questions to provoke your transformation from the inside-out?
- What value am I assigning to the painful experiences of my past?
- Who was I before my emotional injuries?
- Is what happened to me the same thing as who I am?
Reaching your goals (outside-in) will not fundamentally change the way you feel, because how you feel is primarily driven by who you think you are (identity).
"The identity of one changes with how one perceives reality." Jithu Jeyaloganathan