In an effort to help my clients balance their lifestyle so they can reach their goals, I share a 3-step process that gently and generously moves them from awareness to accountability to action.
The sequence is key!
My process is: Observe reality-->Accept reality-->Surrender to reality.
Most change initiatives fail because they begin with behavior change, rather than observation. Minus an investment in seeing what is, all action is premature, which effectively gets you nowhere fast. The fancy word for this is contemplation.
Once the problem is understood, it's still not time to take action, and delaying tactics in an instant gratification culture is a painstaking process if expectations are not well managed. Accepting things the way they are, considering your role in the situation and owning your current reality is a form of accountability which positions you to take meaningful action.
Once you've owned your reality first, then you can effectively disown it through a process of surrender, which is a different sort of action: It's getting out of your own way, releasing your attachment to known misery and for all intents and purposes, dying to your old self.
This entire process challenges your ego in every way. Instead of observing, it prefers to judge, instead of accepting, it prefers to reject, and instead of surrendering, it prefers control. You can see how much friction this creates and why most people are unable to match their intentions with their desired outcome.
No one wants to let go of their previous reality until their new one has actualized, and it doesn't work that way. Faith, trust, and vulnerability are vital to all forms of transformation.
"The gem cannot be polished without friction, nor the man without trials." Confucius