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Don't minimize your pain!



All too often, clients tend to minimize their pain, claiming to have "first-world" problems or less significant challenges than other people they know; this completely disrespects the principle of Individuality.


All problems are relative to your environment.


When you compare the anxiety you feel as a result of not meeting a performance goal against not having access to clean drinking water; there is no comparison. These are two separate problems happening in different parts of the world and relatively speaking, both are painful for the individual experiencing those challenges.


The key to disowning your pain is to first own it, but if you minimize it, it's impossible to surrender it.


Shame and guilt are often the emotional drivers downplaying your pain and are almost always the result of unmet expectations.

The function of depreciating suffering, I suppose, is it's easier to say you shouldn't have the pain than it is to embrace the reality that you do and perform the emotional labor required to work through it. Though, this lack of accountability will undoubtedly maintain the status quo.


From a spiritual/intuitive perspective, if you're unable to honor your pain, you'll inevitably face more significant problems down the line.


I always tell my clients: There's no way around your GAP. You must go through the pain...pain is 1/2 of the experience of transformation. Give this a shot:


1. Name the emotions you're feeling

2. Identify the story you're telling yourself that's causing those emotions (this is how you're participating in your problem)

3. Stop running from your pain, allow yourself to feel/process your feelings

4. Whether conscious or unconscious, notice how much of your pain is related to expectations

5. Surrender your need for control (lower expectations) and meet reality where it's at


This process helps you to embody your pain, accept you have a role in it and surrender your need to control the outcome. The unique flow of this exercise addresses your symptoms, compensations and root causes, a win-win-win.



"Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding." Khalil Gibran

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