...feel with them.
Feeling for someone is called sympathy.
It's you over here, feeling for that person over there, which promotes separateness, exclusion, and even superiority.
Feeling with someone is called empathy.
It's feeling with someone from the same space in which they're processing their pain, which promotes unity, inclusion, and equality.
Though loving and kind, the latter is far more demanding, because it requires you access your wounds, limitations, and humanity.
Here's a wonderful
short from Brene Brown on the topic.
"Empathy is seeing with the eyes of another, listening with the ears of another, and feeling with the heart of another." Said someone empathetic