Allowing loving-kindness to flow freely

I hear many of my clients share acts of kindness they've performed, and go on to say: "They didn't even say thank you, seem like they appreciated it, or offer to support me."

Giving, of course, with the expectation of receiving, is not giving at all.

The driver behind this type of "giving" is the false self; our wounded, superficial, and insecure self that defines itself by performance, operates inside of a transactional reality and is always keeping tabs.

The giver's unmet need is that they've never been validated, made to feel significant, or granted foundational dignity.

It's more a cry for love than an act of generosity.

This way of being in the world can only be solved by a hefty dose of consciousness and waking up, and then, and only then, will the giver recognize the reward is in the ability to give and caring enough to do so.

"We're only as needy as our unmet needs." John Bowlby



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