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A word on hurt people hurting people



Yes, they do. They treat people the way they were treated. Think about that: - Criticized people criticize people. - Depressed people depress people. - Scared people scare people. - Tormented people torment people. - Exhausted people exhaust people. - Anxious people unsettle people. - Rejected people reject people. - Controlled people control people. - Shamed people shame people. - Abandoned people abandon people. - Betrayed people betray people. - Cheated people cheat people. And the list goes on and on and on. It's important to mention that hurt people aren't bad people; they're people who have perfectly adapted to their experiences. Perfectly! And the people who hurt them aren't bad either, nor are of the people who hurt them in generations prior. There's really no one to blame, and if your ego insists, it might as well be Adam and Eve, but that's a lot of anger to displace and seemingly a waste of time as it accomplishes nothing. At the very same time, this doesn't discount the pain hurt people cause people either, because it's real, and it hurts. This will sound contradictory for the dualistic mind that operates with a black-or-white mentality: Hurt people both need boundaries that say this is OK, and this is not OK, AND they need undeserved kindness and divine compassion. They need BOTH, and for that to happen, the ego must die so the soul can do the work that only the Spirit is capable of achieving. A non-dualistic consciousness, which operates almost entirely in the gray, is adequately prepared to create a healing environment that helps people transform, rather than transmit their pain. Non-dualism can hold together the tension that comforts both sides of the aisle, the "offenders" (who are also the offended), and the "offended." Hopefully, you can see there's only ONE aisle because both sides have been hurt. Everyone belongs! While retributive justice addresses the matter, restorative justice addresses the heart of that matter, and as you know, LOVE always wins.



"All violence is the result of people tricking themselves into believing that their pain derives from other people and that consequently, those people deserve to be punished. Every criticism, judgment, diagnosis, and expression of anger is the tragic expression of an unmet need.” Marshall B. Rosenberg



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