Three words commonly used to describe a client's current state are: imbalanced, overwhelmed and exhausted.
These states, of course, are merely reflecting their inner world.
Rather than give them well-intentioned but ineffective intellectual advice like: "If you stop over-committing yourself, you won't be so tired all the time," I teach them how to access emotional states conducive to their goals.
While that sounds complex, it's not difficult.
In fact, it simply requires you to invest the time to understand the narratives someone tells themselves that maintains a scarce and fearful mentality.
Then, gently exposing their more-is-better, all-or-none, no-pain-no-gain mindset and helping them reframe and replace victimizing statements with abundant ones makes for immediate and significant changes.
On the other hand, three words commonly used to describe a new client's preferred state: balanced, peaceful and relaxed.
Through meditation, I teach them how to be at rest and then, ask them to consider what behavior would cause them to feel the way they want to.
For example, someone might say:
- If I were to stop working at 5 pm and enjoy the evening with my family, I would feel balanced.
- If I were to meditate for 5 minutes each morning, I would feel peaceful.
- If I were to engage in creative projects, I would feel relaxed.
The big dots I help them connect their preferred states are not a destination but the result of a decision...a decision that can be made right here and right now.
The key is to take the wind out of the future's sails and help people access the present moment.
"Your life changes the moment you make a new, congruent, and committed decision." Tony Robbins