Mobility + Stability = MoSt ability
When I attended the Gray Institute’s GIFT mentorship program to study chain reaction biomechanics and learn how to help people lead more comfortable, functional and vital lifestyle’s, one success principle they shared was the relationship between mobility and stability as it pertained to creating healthy movement.This concept similarly applies to behavior change…more on that in a moment.To help you understand and apply this concept from a physical perspective, lets say I set a goal for you Read more
You haven’t loved until…'ve loved difference.It's easy love someone when they look like you, share your worldviews, practice the same rituals, value the same things, behave in like ways, engage a similar thought process, always say yes, are there when you need them, never challenge you and sing your praises.Then, there's the "other" person, where all the opposite scenarios apply.How quickly do find yourself moving towards a space of criticism, defensiveness, judgment, blame and fear?This is the dualistic, egocent Read more
Those experiences are not your identity
We've all encountered fear-based experiences during our upbringing and formative years; some far more and some far less intense than others.The gamut of these experiences range from one end of a very wide spectrum to another and I can't pretend to know or understand or include them all.From my experience and those shared with me, I realize critical parents who didn't know how to love you unless you were doing their best, unaffectionate parents that couldn't access the vulnerability required to s Read more
The only thing more important than me believing in you…
Most people fail to reach their goals. But why? There's a space between where they are and want to be and I call it the GAP and it contains all resistance that keeps them from "crossing the chasm."  Quite possibly, the biggest rock within the GAP is a self-worth deficit; typically formed as a result of repeated fear-based experiences encountered during formative years: critical/controlling parents, a lack of affection, physical abuse, death of loved ones, absentee parents, emotionally confusi Read more
My False Self and True Self
I used to struggle with social anxiety, immense shame, depression, perfectionism, people pleasing and staying focused, just to name a few.  Everyday was a struggle and felt like a chore, a grind and an obligation--life felt like something I "had to" do.  I had to get up because I had a mortgage to pay, a son I didn't want to see my weaknesses only to follow in my footsteps and a wife I didn't want to see my fears and have her lose respect for me as "the man of the household."  Just waking up Read more
The courage to be imperfect
I’ve been writing a lot on worthiness because when you connect to the totally unearned, grace gift of worthiness, it divinely solves so many of the problems we of which is perfectionism.Brene Brown perfectly defined perfectionism as a 20-ton shield we use to protect ourselves from being judged, particularly in areas we feel vulnerable to shame and feeling “not enough.”Once you connect the dots that “you were born worthy” and nothing can or ever will change that truth, it equ Read more
The link between effort, outcome and AA
When Bill Wilson developed what would later become the 12-Step Program or Alcoholics Anonymous, even though his program was working for himself, keeping him free from his addiction to alcohol, it was not so well received by others.He would work extensively with his “friends” to help them break the bonds of alcoholism, only to have them fall back into familiar patterns, time and again.Though many would have seen this initiative as a failure, Bill decided to measure success by his desire and w Read more
The downside to prioritizing other’s happiness
Prioritizing other peoples’ happiness ahead of your own is a cascade of frustration, disappointment and resentment waiting to happen.Why?Because there’s an underlying expectation that they’ll do the same for you.The Unworthy Self has a dualistic mind, it’s plagued by all-or-none thinking and operates with a tit-for-tat mentality and since it lacks inner abundance, expectations towards self and others always runs high.The "others-happiness" mechanism creates codependent relationships (mak Read more
How to feel worthy without the struggle, seriously
We’re all born worthy of love and belonging as we’re an expression of and connected to the Source of peace, love and joy. In other words, we never had to earn our worth as babies/children, we were just worthy because we were alive. Then, somewhere along the way, we’ve all had experiences that told us otherwise: that we’re not cool enough, smart enough, attractive enough, etc. At a young age, we lack the emotional maturity and abstraction to see the events of our lives as separate from o Read more
Understanding feedback loops to reduce anger/anxiety
If you’ve experienced anxiety, then experientially, you understand what a feedback loop is. Knowing how they work can help you reduce pain and emotional suffering.Event-->Thought-->EmotionYour boss lays into you at work-->What an a$#@ole-->anger, shame, spiteThe activating event is out of your control—it’s life. Your thoughts are mostly automatic though you can choose to reframe the experience you just had. Your emotions are a response relative to how you interpret the event.Th Read more
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