The wounded healer…
People often ask what I do for a living.Well, I have a background in personal training, soft tissue therapy, chain reaction biomechanics and I’m a teacher at heart but mostly, I’m a healer.What qualifies me to heal? I’m wounded, which gives me incredibly insight that cannot be gleaned from a textbook and has also equipped me with unequivocal patience, compassion and empathy I’ve healed myself so I know what the journey looks and feels like I have a desire to create environments that h Read more
Who I write for…
I write for the everyday person who’s carrying around emotional pain and has difficulty expressing and sharing it.It’s difficult to express because the part of our brain that processes words is different from the part that processes emotions.It’s difficult to share because we live inside of a superficial and judgmental culture, compromising safety.Our pain is not just in our Mind, it’s in our Body and weighs on our Spirit and unless we treat ourselves 3-dimensionally, we’re not foundat Read more
Everyone wants to fix everyone else’s problems…
It’s much easier to fix the world around you than it is to fix the world within you.When helping others, we tend to look through a lens of compassion and as a result, we’re OK with imperfection, we don’t tie our identity to the cause or take ourselves too seriously.When engaging self-care endeavors and quality-of-life initiatives, we tend to look through a critical lens and as a result, we strive for perfection because we've told ourselves a story that the outcome is a reflection of our ch Read more
The answer is not to do what you said you were going to do…
Doing what you said you were going to do is only part of the answer.The other and more important part is becoming curious and courageous enough to understand why you’re not doing it.The question in and of itself is an act of compassion, which is the primary ingredient needed in the recipe for healing.Other ingredients include vulnerability, understanding, tenderness and patience.Hint: To understand why you’re not doing it, consider what happened during your formative years when you didn’t Read more
How to heal the heaviness within you…
Move into the day fully accepting today, yourself and all of the people and events as they are without judging them, labeling them or attaching to them in any way whatsoever...this is what keeps you light.Think of yourself like teflon, everything slides off of you; nothing sticks because you've accepted it for what it was and didn’t need it to be anything different than what it is (happiness is an inside job).From this space, simply observe the day and allow the goodness in you to see the good Read more
The worst-case scenario is when someone validates…
…what you already believe about yourself.Core beliefs are formed by way of experiences during our formative years. They're the foundation of our personality, they inform us of our belonging within the world and they are responsible for our quality of thoughts, feelings and actions. Changing behaviors with modifying beliefs is largely a waste of time.  If someone believes they are “not good enough” because mom and dad were critical and absent from their lives, they’ll do everything the Read more
Loving people along the victim to catalyst spectrum…
For many people, life is happening to them. They’re living life from the passenger seat, playing a passive role and largely unaware of their victim status.  They behave this way because they’ve been taught to behave this way.  Maybe mom and/or dad were controlling and life was better when you just did what they said. Maybe you were rewarded for obedience, conformity and going with the flow. Maybe putting yourself out there was met with rejection time and again and it just feels safer to s Read more
How accepting protective behaviors helps you move beyond them…
When we behave in protective ways, our default response is to think: “I have to stop doing that.” In a subtle way, that’s a form of self-rejection. Robert Holden, author of Happiness Now! said: “No amount of self-improvement will ever make up for a lack of self-acceptance.” The key is not to reject the behavior but to accept it as a reflection of where you are in this very moment (don’t confuse acceptance with settling). If you don’t create space for, own the behavior and your Read more
The 10 biggest demand I see draining people’s lives…
I’m generally hired when the demands in someone’s life are greater than their resources--when they’re in survival mode.They often think they need a total lifestyle makeover and while things may be out of sorts, more often than not, they only need a few tweaks.Here are the top 10 demands I see that drain people’s precious, finite resources… Focused on outcomes instead of effort Confusing the events of their lives with their identity Placing unrealistic expectations on everything Att Read more
Change is as hard as we believe it to be…
How much harder do we make change by saying change is hard?If change is hard, are we able to associate it with joy? Not joy after an achievement but joy while engaging the work. Given our assumption, is it possible we're missing opportunities because they seemed less difficult or more enjoyable than we believe change should be?There is resistance associated with change and if framed properly, we can see it as something we get to do and not have to do.And we can even enjoy the work if we allow o Read more
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