Resolutions ha ha ha

Here we go again…you’re about to set your umpteenth resolution and ironically, you have even better intentions than last year.

This year, you’re more serious than you were last year.

This year, you’re more committed than you were last year.

This year, statistically speaking, will be no different than last year and it has nothing to do with your intentions, your seriousness or your commitment.

It all boils down to what you believe about yourself, how well you know yourself, your emotional intelligence/resilience, how you measure success and your ability to make decisions promoting long-term satisfaction and you can learn all of these skill sets…if you want to!

You reaching your goal this year has almost nothing to do with the physical and tactical maneuvers of diet and exercise, not buying cigarettes or saving more money and everything to do with the mindset driving those behaviors.

Until you create a revolution in your mind, you’ll never see your preferred evolution in your life.

If you want to learn how to reach your goals without the pain, the grind and the sacrifice and learn the skill sets necessary for creating success in your Mind-First®, email us at info@conditionforlife.com.

 

“If I had 60 minutes to solve a problem, I’d spend 55 minutes defining it and 5 minutes solving it.” Albert Einstein

Removing people-pleasing from my work

I used to write for you (my reader) and when I did, I really cared how many people liked what I wrote and how many shares it received and it was all a reflection of how worthwhile I was.

Lots of likes = I was good 🙂

Not a lot of likes = I was not good 🙁

As a result, every blog I wrote was driven by fear and it only served to create more fear in my life.

Richard Rohr states that all great spirituality is what we do with our pain, we can either transmit it to others or transform it into a sacred story.

After failing and falling and experiencing the necessary suffering that comes from acting upon my fears, I’ve decided to start writing for myself.

Today, I measure success by the fact that I’ve showed up for myself and chose to express myself in a generous way…anything beyond may be important, just not to me.

 

“I never lose, either I win or I learn.” Said someone really smart

Finding joy in pain

Life is difficult; no doubt about it but perspective is everything.

Most people realize that without pain, fear and guilt in our lives, we couldn’t know or appreciate peace, love or joy but the challenge is in remembering this truth when you’re in the midst of a difficult situation.

Next time you’re experiencing the necessary suffering of life, take a moment to breathe, step outside of the situation as if to see it “over there” and survey what you’re feeling.

Then, allow those feelings to come in all their fullness and rather than judging or repressing them, choose to get curious and inquisitive about them, allowing yourself to learn and grow from them.

Last, go to the opposite emotion, cultivate your preferred emotional state through your breath and learn how to find the joy in pain.

Once you find joy in pain, you’ll start to see success in failure, perfection in imperfection, love in fear, compassion in criticism and light in darkness.

“There’s no love without pain.” Irving Stone

How to appreciate change

Most people dislike change and while part of that may be our biological wiring, a large part of it is your perspective of and relationship with change.

If you perceive change as an event, something that happens all at once and then you have to figure out how to continue being that person or else it will all fall apart, I’m sorry to say, you will never appreciate or find joy in the change process.

If you perceive change as a process, something that happens one decision at a time, drip by drip and you realize all you have to figure out how to do is to be present in each of those decisions, you will always appreciate and dare I say, find joy in the change process.

Keep focused on effort and allow the outcome to be the evidence of your effort.

 

“Satisfaction lies in the effort, not in the attainment, full effort is full victory. “Mahatma Gandhi

The urgency of change

There is none.

Change is not urgent, it’s important.

Important decisions require time.

Urgency causes you to believe there is no time.

Interestingly, time is all you have.

BTW, urgency leads to more urgency and almost no change.

 

“What is important is seldom urgent and what is urgent is seldom important.” Dwight Eisenhower

What blocks your Flow

In my experience, when I observe stagnation in someone’s life and the stress that accompanies it, it almost always leads back to a decision that’s not been made.

The decision’s often not made because people are worried about what other people will think. If this is you, click here to change your state, then make your decision.

The problem with caring about what other people think is not that you care what other people think, it’s that you value what you think less.

The only way to start caring about what you think is to start making decisions based on what you think is best for you. Appreciate that reassurance is futile.

So the way to start creating Flow in your life is to care about yourself, go figure.

 

“Good decisions come from experience and experience comes from bad decisions.” Mark Twain

Biology follows psychology

If you’re living life in a fear-based, stressed out state (most of western civilization), you’re inherently interpreting life in a threatening way and this has nothing to do with being rational either because it’s a purely emotional reaction.

The state from which you make decisions from matters most. When you make decisions from fear-based states (guilt, frustration, anxiety), you literally invest in and deepen your connection to those emotions, which only magnifies their presence in your life and in the lives of those around you. Thankfully, making decisions from love-based states (peace, joy, love, ) works the same way.

The takeaway here is our biology (state/consciousness) follows our psychology (cognition/decision-making).

One of the most beneficial practices I’ve ever incorporated into how I manage my lifestyle is breathing deeply for 3 minutes before making any important decisions. If three minutes feels like a long time, start with a minute or thirty seconds.

The magic here is in slowing down time to transform your biology in an authentic and intentional way.  Through the breath, you will help your body transition from a sympathetic (stressed) to parasympathetic relaxed) state. It’s not magic as much as it’s magical.

Once you experience the peace that comes from making decisions in a centered state, you can’t unknow it and will never settle for anything less.

 

“Transformed people transform people.” Richard Rohr

Making change easy

Change is hard when you’re living in your past, replaying the same events that didn’t go the way you wanted them to over and again.

Change is equally hard when you’re thinking about it as some arbitrary outcome that will happen in the future after you finally become perfect.

Change is easy and even liberating when you surrender the past and future and operate intentionally in the only moment that matters: the present.

If you’re not looking forward to change, it’s likely because you don’t believe in your ability to do it (past) or you’re worried about what someone else thinks (future)…either way, you’re absent.

Come back to the present…change happens in the here and now!

 

“I stopped trying to be perfect when I realized it’s enough to be present.” Curtis Tyrone Jones

Pick your battles

The journey towards our Preferred Status® is a long one.

Given transformation is an endurance event; one key strategy is ensuring our approach is efficient so it lends itself to sustainability of our efforts.

Before hopping into a physical and tactical mode of doing things, first ask yourself: If I were to just accept “this” situation as is, could I preserve my resources for the matters that truly matter or where I can likely affect change?

Choosing acceptance, whether that’s self-acceptance (choosing to like who you are, imperfections and all) and other-acceptance (choosing to like who someone else is vs. who you wish they were) oftentimes frees up a tremendous amount of energy that could be dedicated to leading a Preferred-Status Lifestyle.

Acceptance can be efficient and efficiency always lends itself to transformation!

 

The first step toward change is awareness. The second step is acceptance. Nathaniel Branden

The road of fear does not lead to love

More than anything, I want my clients to live their Preferred Status Lifestyle®.

Though, understanding and embracing the emotional reality of their Current Status® is vital for getting there.

Another way to say this is: The way up is down!

There’s no need to do anything right away either…start by identifying your emotional state.

If you’re feeling frustrated, anxious, angry, overwhelmed, exhausted, sad, inferior, etc. appreciate that acting on your fears will only lead you back to more fear.

The road to fear is fear all the way and the road to love is love all the way.

Taking action is important but only after investing in the time re-centering yourself and cultivating an optimal emotional state (peace, joy, love, worthiness, significance, hopeful relevance, etc.).

When in love, what previously felt like an obligation to change will become an opportunity.

 

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.” Marianne Williamson