Living your preferred life

When clients come to us to get from where they are to where they want to be, we’ve found it helpful to give them a mental framework for getting there.

Where you are today is called your Current  Status and it’s full of certainty, predictability and reliability but at the expense of dissatisfaction. Think known misery.

Where you want to be tomorrow is called your Preferred Status and it’s full of uncertainty, unpredictability and unreliability but at the expense of long-term satisfaction. Think unknown joy.

In other words, there’s a trade off. If you want to stay where you are, there is known misery. On the other hand, if you want to get where you want to be there is unknown joy. Neither is path is right or wrong or free of pain or fear. It’s simply a matter of trading known for unknown.

The space in between the two is called the GAP and it’s full of everything that resists you from living your best life. This can be anything from procrastination to poor time management to shame to self-doubt to indecisiveness, etc.

The key to leading a Preferred Status Lifestyle is getting comfortable doing the difficult work of breaking through the GAP and finding the courage to love and believe in yourself. It’s not diet or exercise or much of anything to do with our external world, it’s an inside job through and through.


“If the path be beautiful, let us not ask where it leads.” Anatole France


Breaking through the BIG rocks

The three biggest rocks I see in the gap between where my clients are and where they want to be…

  1. Perfectionism
  2. People-pleasing
  3. Self-doubt

Problems needs solutions!


Problem: Perfectionism

Solution: Be accountable to the fact that perfection is a lie. Embrace the beauty of your imperfections and refine over time. People can’t relate perfect people and being alone is more painful than being imperfect.


Problem: People-pleasing

Solution: Be accountable to the fact that others liking you won’t change how much you like you. Start practicing acts of self-love through self-care. Say something kind about yourself and do something kind for yourself.


Problem: Self-doubt

Solution: Be accountable to the fact that self-doubt is a story you tell yourself and invest in. Focus on doing one thing outside of your comfort zone, document and reflect on it, then do another.


Diet and exercise perfection won’t resolve the issues of perfection, people-pleasing and self-doubt but loving and believing in yourself through the process will.

“To breakthrough your performance, you’ve got to break through your psychology.” Jensen Siaw

Make it a great day everyone!!!