At first, she offered me a superficial answer: “I want to look better.”
I could have easily stopped asking, put her through a tough workout and convinced her this is the way to sustainably look better. But I care too much.
Why do you want to look better?
Then, she said something a little more meaningful: “I actually want to feel better.”
While they sound similar, looking better is a much different goal than feeling better. We may want our body to look better but we want our spirit to feel better. Subtle, yet important.
Why do you want to feel better?
Then, the truth started to surface: “My dad died of diabetes and my mom has high cholesterol. I’m scared of dying young and leaving my children or being a burden.”
Fear is a completely different driver than wanting to look or feel better. For success, the entire experience must reflect the driver. My initial approach would be more mental and strategic than physical and tactical.
When I ask courageously one more, why haven’t you been able to do this on your own?
She said, because I don’t like myself most days, in fact, I’m depressed and I’m unsure if I’ll ever reach my goals.
This is why many of us struggle to get and stay fit…we try addressing matters of the mind and spirit with a workout.